He Ate My Heart
by Neko-chan -Silvered Tongue
Summary: Izaya's always been good at pushing people's buttons. Too bad he doesn't know what to do when he pushes too far.


_Title:_ He Ate My Heart_  
>Author:<em> Neko-chan_  
>Fandom:<em> Durarara!_  
>Rating<em>: R_  
>Pairing:<em> Izaya/Shizuo_  
>Disclaimer:<em> Don't own a thing. …pity. :\_  
>Summary:<em> Izaya's always been good at pushing people's buttons. Too bad he doesn't know what to do when he pushes too far.

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><p><em>Prompt from drrrkink meme -<em>Shizuo/Izaya- Izaya seduces Shizuo and then, in the middle of their sex, purposely triggers his rage, trying to get him to be as sexually violent as possible. Shizuo resists as best he can but Izaya is really good at getting him angry, and then making him hate himself for how he lost control...  
>Don't want Shizuo to enjoy being violent, or for Izaya's kink to be the violent sex itself. Want Izaya to draw out and get off to Shizuo's despair, and Shizuo to keep fighting his own nature all the way through.<p>

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><p><strong>He Ate My Heart<strong>

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><p>Knowing the price and the value:<p>

It was a thinly painted line between the two, but such an incredibly important one, and it was a distinction that showed the _true worth_of an item because the saying rang with an echoing sense of rightness in that 'all that glitters is not gold.'

Oftentimes, the realization of the difference came at too late a time-and at too high a cost.

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><p>Orihara Izaya had always been one to prod at things.<p>

He had been the type of child who had poked at a sore tooth with his tongue, knowing full well that there would be pain accompanying such action, and yet incapable of restraining the urge to nudge at the area, exploring the various levels of dull throbbing and learning more about it-all while indulging an insatiable curiosity that would have put a cat to shame. The tendency to prod and prod and prod _and prod _at things had not lessened as he had grown older; in fact, one might even say that the personality quirk had worsened in the most beastly ways possible.

His favorite subject to study, jabbing at as a young boy would with a sharpened stick towards a helpless creature, had been Heiwajima Shizuo-and, despite the turning of the years (more than Izaya would ever allow himself to admit aloud), the mahogany-eyed informant continued to remain almost _desperately _fascinated with the blonde beast.

They continued to orbit close to one another, gravitational forces drawing back and forth in a ongoing game of tug of war that echoed the fight for dominance between Neptune and Uranus: neither completely winning, but still remaining helpless against the other's draw. Over and over again, Izaya found himself slipping back into Ikebukuro-traipsing through the streets even when he _wasn't _in need of information for one of his many schemes.

When they had kissed for the first time, hidden in the shadows of some alleyway lost in the maze that Ikebukuro had become, the only people that had been surprised by the development appeared to be the blonde and the brunette themselves. Everyone else had seen that it-this revolution around one another-had been long in coming: literally _years _in the making.

But the change was something new: bright and shiny and unsullied by his previous touches, and it was a _challenge_ that Izaya looked forward to-pursuing the shift with a single-minded determination that paralleled all of the effort that he had put in (_before_ things had changed) to trolling Shizu-chan and making his life as miserable as humanly possible.

It had taken a long, long, _long_ time, but eventually Izaya had managed to get their relationship past the initial stage of hasty, stolen kisses, screams of rage and hate that finally had come to mean the opposite of the words spoken aloud, quick, fervent touches that were never quite enough-and the denial on Shizuo's part that anyone would ever be all right with this.

But he was wrong.

Unsurprisingly, Izaya had taken advantage of the shock that had flared in Shizuo's eyes to manipulate a promise of a date out of the lanky debt collector, smiling like a crocodile all the while. The event in question had been looked at with quite a bit of trepidation, but-once again, a surprise to the blonde-it ended up being… not-quite-as-bad as Shizuo had expected. One date became two and two became three and three became much, much more.

It wasn't until three months into their more "stable" relationship that Izaya finally shifted his weight, pinning Shizuo against the wall and boxing the taller man in when the other would have began the motions to leave for the night. "Flea…?" the blonde asked, confusion flickering across his face in a brief flare of expression before it finally settled into something that was surprisingly neutral as the taller of the two stared down with a pair of amber eyes.

"Stay a bit longer, Shizu-chan~" Izaya purred softly against the thin skin of Shizuo's neck, letting his lips brush over the graceful line of the other's throat in a ghosting semblance of a kiss-letting his teeth scrape over a particularly sensitive patch of skin when he felt Shizuo tense and start to move, and then it took all Shizuo had within himself to remain standing as Izaya lightly bit. But he relented in the end, giving way beneath the brunette's particular brand of persuasion.

And the crimson-eyed informant smiled like a devil.

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><p>The kisses and touches that followed were slow and absent, hands heavy against Shizuo's skin, and the blonde fortissimo couldn't stop the shiver in time, the full body tremble that shuddered up from the tips of his toes to wrack through his body; Izaya had always been such an incredibly good judge of character, knowing exactly what it was that made another person tick-and he knew, knew so very well, how to make Shizuo trembling and giving soft, barely audible sounds of need by touch alone.<p>

"Damn flea. Stop being a fucking tease," Shizuo grumbled quietly through the hitching of his breath as the informant bit down ever-so-gently over the bend of the taller man's throat: letting his teeth sink in just barely, not enough to either bruise or really be felt, and pressed his tongue against the quickly beating pulse at Shizuo's neck.

But Izaya teased, however, because it was the end result that made it all worth it in the end:

Shizuo shuddering against the brunette's body, his own arching greedily from all of the teasing caresses-touches light enough, felt enough, to set flame to his desire but still manage to deny him his completion. It was type of game that Izaya had played with his lovers before, but never had it been so _satisfying_ as with Shizuo. Never before had he felt such _victory _as now, with Shizuo's pupils blown from denied lust, avidly watching as Izaya began to unbutton his dress shirt-one by one, contentedly taking his time… much to Shizuo's frustration.

They had never gotten so far.

Touches-before now, before this particular situation-had always been made through cloth, and Shizuo had always shied away whenever Izaya had tried to press for more. The informant had known by rumor and reaction both that the blonde was a virgin, and it was still easy enough to see even now by the faint flush that covered Shizuo's cheeks. It was… _cute_. -and so gratifying to Izaya's ego, as well, knowing that he had been the only one brave enough to clamber over the fortissimo's walls, strong enough to bring them down from the inside. Shizuo was vulnerable to him in a way that the no one else had ever managed to accomplish.

"Ne~" Izaya suddenly murmured as his mouth nuzzled affectionately over Shizuo's collarbone, nipping playfully with his cheek before pulling away the vest and tie and shirt with deft, efficient fingers. He pushed the clothing down and away, letting it all puddle around Shizuo's wrists, and continued with his nearly-cruel teasing by letting his mouth brush a kiss as light as a butterfly's caress over Shizuo's pebbled nipple. "Do you trust me, Shizu-chan~?"

There was silence for a long moment, long enough that Izaya peeked up from beneath his lashes so that he could watch the taller man: it was easy enough to see the conflict that tightened the blonde's face, tension so incredibly apparent as Shizuo tried to fight against habit and push towards the change that had shifted between the both of them: it was tempting, Izaya knew, for the other to say, "Fuck no. I wouldn't _ever_ trust you." But the courtship that Izaya had managed to coax the blonde into had shown Shizuo a different side of the informant-this Shizuo knew, and this Izaya _knew _that he knew. The only question that remained was if Shizuo would fall back into habit born from years of cut-and-paste interaction, or would Shizuo finally step forward and join Izaya in the new relationship that lay between them.

He swallowed, an audible sound, and Izaya smiled: he already knew what Shizuo would say from that reaction alone. "…yeah. Yeah, I trust you," the blonde whispered, words just barely on this side of 'coherent,' and, _oh, _how much that must have cost the debt collector to admit.

Izaya bit over that captured nipple in reaction, lips closing suddenly as he sucked _hard_ at the sensitive bit of flesh. Shizuo bucked upwards, hands scrabbling for some sort of purchase before shifting his hold to bury in Izaya's short hair, drawing the other man tight in against him. "Fuck, yes. _Yes_," Shizuo muttered, repeating himself over and over and over and _over_ again in a litany of submission and desire and want, not trying to withdraw as he usually did as Izaya's fingers drifted down to begin working at the belt at his waist; oh, no: instead, Shizuo's own grip moved, fingers wrapping around the soft fur of Izaya's coat to try to tug the article of clothing _off_.

All the while, his cheeks remained quietly dusted with crimson, but the lust in Shizuo's eyes took precedence: he wanted this, wanted _Izaya_, and though the informant had made the first move in this particular game, Shizuo was determined to play and _win_-and, right now, he wanted nothing but skin and heat beneath his fingertips.

Izaya didn't bother to stifle the laugh at the greedy way that Shizuo's hands tugged at the fabric of his clothing, reveling in the power that he had over the beast-loving the way that desire darkened the color of the blonde's eyes, how Shizu-chan's hands trembled when he finally managed to get the coat off of Izaya, the small shudder that ran through him as the informant eased the other's pants down and over his hips before falling down to his knees.

"Hey, Shizu-chan," Izaya began as he pulled down the waistband of the blonde's boxer briefs, baring the flushed head of Shizuo's cock to the cool night air (my, my~ it certainly couldn't be at all healthy to have an erection _that_ dark of a color, but no worries~ Izaya intended to help "fix" things soon enough!) and then peeked up at the much taller man from beneath his lashes. He licked his lips, smirking as he watched the way that Shizuo's eyes followed the motion, and continued in a low, teasingly breathy voice, "When I first bought the apartment, the realtor told me that it had the best view in Shinjuku. I never really thought so, but now I think that I know what he meant~"

The lust cleared slightly from Shizuo's eyes at that, and the blonde looked down incredulously at Izaya. "…you can't be serious," he said, stating this as if, by doing so, it would make it a fact. "That was nearly as bad as some of Kida-kun's lin-"

Shizuo was cut short by the warmth, wet, _perfection_ of Izaya's mouth as the informant's lips parted to take Shizuo's cock deep, swallowing shallowly around the other's erection to provide the bare minimum of suction and heat, but still remain as nothing much more than a tease: and Shizuo's mind abruptly derailed, thoughts scattering every which way, and his hands buried in Izaya's cropped hair, clutching tight to the silky strands so that he could _buck_ and take in more of that slowly coiling _need_.

In turn, Izaya braced his hands over etched hips, pushing back just enough to keep Shizuo from gagging him with the rolling motions of his hips; when the initial reaction of fuckyesneedmore_please_ mellowed out so that desire could once more ebb and surge higher and higher at a more idle pace, the brunette allowed his head to slowly bob up and down; his tongue pressed along the underside of Shizuo's cock, and his eyes _burned _with feline satisfaction when Shizuo shuddered, legs nearly buckling, giving out beneath him.

There was _position, _a delicious sort of dominance, that he held over the other, knowledge that he truly _was_ the first one who had managed to breach Shizuo's defenses in such a way-knowing, full well, that other than Shizuo himself, Izaya was the first to touch him so intimately. The _power_ in that was heady, and it was so incredibly difficult to fight off the lightheaded feeling generated from such knowledge-certainly, there was no point in fighting his body's reaction to it as his pants tightened over his groin: and he knew, distantly, that there was something not quite right about getting off on the thought of Shizu-chan so vulnerable for him, and yet… the image _did_ have appeal to Izaya.

He swallowed, over and over and over again, reworking his way back down the other's thick length, and there was a sense of pride as Izaya's lips sealed greedily around the base of Shizuo's erection-knowing that he could take the other in completely and smug in watching Shizuo finally come completely undone: tension radiating from every line of body and face, expression twisted and _open_ and vulnerable in a way that not even Izaya could have ever really imagined, and even as the informant greedily drank the blonde down, lips and tongue and (very gently) teeth working Shizuo's orgasm… Izaya still couldn't quiet a muted sense of discontentment.

It was… _fun_, more than he would have thought when they had first begun this coy dance around one another, but there was something missing, an expression that _should_ have been here but wasn't-Shizuo's eyes turning hazy with desire when they should _burn_, hotter than the heart of a star: that was the expression that Izaya loved seeing best of all and Shizuo without it didn't seem… _complete_. Less than what he truly was.

As Izaya released the blonde with a lewd "pop," licking his lips clean from any lingering traces of come, he smoothed his hands up Shizuo's inner thighs and dug his fingernails hard enough into skin and flesh to bring blood to the surface-leaving behind a set of crescent-shaped marks that stated _Mine. Back off._ louder than any voice could ever really be capable of. Shizuo hissed at the sudden spike of pain, legs shifting beneath Izaya's sharp-edged caress-though the haze cleared slightly from his gaze, which was _exactly _what the informant wanted.

"Take the shirt and vest off completely," Izaya murmured softly, voice low and husky-scratchy in the best way possible, all from sucking Shizuo off-and began to press open-mouthed kisses along the inside of the blonde's right leg as his nimble fingers began pushing boxer briefs and trousers the rest of the way off, catching the tops of Shizuo's socks with fingertips and tugging _everything_ off in one go: and that left Shizuo naked before him, skin smooth and with tanned legs that went on for miles, muscles and a light dusting of hair and the way that he fearlessly met Izaya's gaze _even though the informant knew that he was nervous_.

It was the contrast of nervous and yet still fearless, eyes never wavering from Izaya's own despite the shaking of Shizuo's hands that made the informant moan quietly against Shizuo's thigh, licking away a bead of sweat and hiding a crocodile's smile at the way that the blonde's breath hitched in reaction. Ah~ Who'd have ever thought that Shizuo would be so _sensitive_~?

"Bedroom," Izaya suddenly ordered as he pressed a kiss to the tip of the blonde's softening cock before pulling completely away, moving towards the room in question with quick, almost child-like steps. The flash of irritation that flared briefly to life in Shizuo's eyes at the order, however… it caught and _held_ the informant's attention, and he grinned in response-and the epiphany that came, a realization that he knew _exactly _what he wanted.

And how to get it.

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><p>Their steps were stumbling, each tripping over the other, as they made their way towards Izaya's bedroom. Shizuo had reached out somewhere along the journey, irritation flashing bright and stark and <em>so him <em>in his gaze at something or other that the informant had said-an offhand comment that was supposed to be dismissed but the blonde had taken to heart… just as Izaya had expected him to.

Shizuo held Izaya's face between his hands, thumbs brushing over the other man's cheekbones, rubbing in idle little circles; it didn't matter just how irritated he was with Izaya at the moment because, despite it all, his touch still remained surprisingly gentle-soft caresses that spoke volumes, volumes that never needed a word to be said aloud, about how much this crimson-eyed man had come to mean to him. There was such a thin line between love and hate: hate ate away at any and all positive emotion, corroding a hole within Shizuo's heart, within his chest-but the love was a warm surge of _pure goodness_, contentment and understanding and the willingness to put down his barriers, the walls that separated him from so many others-the ability and the grace to be _vulnerable _with this man.

It was a feeling that Shizuo had never had before, had never felt towards another person. And he… liked it. Truly, truly adored the feeling of contentment in knowing that he was understood down to the darkest parts of his very _self_-and there was acceptance in it and that there was welcome in the most intimate ways possible-and there was _trust_.

The kiss deepened between them, turning hot and heavy and _wet_ as tongues stroked against one another, caressing in lewd, suggestive ways-because Izaya could not help but be himself, and his tongue curled within the heat of Shizuo's mouth, pressing against the roof of the blonde's mouth the way that he had pressed against his cock. The gesture was enough to have Shizuo shuddering against him, arching to rub his nude groin against Izaya's still-clothed one, lust almost animalistic in nature but _honest_ in that Shizuo was no longer shy in showing that he _wanted _Izaya.

Shizuo moaned into the kiss and Izaya praised him for that acknowledgement of the delicious sort of tension that lay between them by reaching down to wrap his fingers around the blonde's cock: he began to stroke Shizuo to hardness once again, thumb rubbing teasingly over the head-flushed a pretty shade of pink that matched the flush over the blonde's cheeks and throat, and Izaya couldn't help but grin like the devil and chuckle quietly as he bit over the other's shoulder.

And, in turn, Shizuo's hands began to work more desperately at Izaya's clothes, tugging at various articles to get them _off_as quickly as possible, growling in frustration when certain items were more stubborn than others. It was the feral quality of that sound that brought another wicked smile to Izaya's face, and he shifted his weight to send Shizuo tumbling back into the bed. "Maa, maa… still as much a beast as ever, Shizu-chan~" the informant murmured as he began to stalk forward, feet silent upon the carpet.

During the time that they had spent together, Izaya had taken to calling Shizuo a "beast" less and less.

The reminder was unexpected, and something quick flashed in the blonde's eyes-something unfamiliar, something that Izaya had never seen before-and, almost quicker than thought, a glint of temper entered into Shizuo's gaze; it chased away the fog that had once more descended from the kiss at the touches, bringing the _burning life_ back to the other's expression, the light that always flared brighter than the sun above whenever Izaya stepped back into his life and challenged him to _thrive _through fury and hate.

It was an expression that Izaya hadn't seen for months.

And there, stark upon Shizuo's face, he _realized_ that Shizuo never looked more _alive_ than when that dark star burned from the inside out, lit up like a supernova, and Izaya _missed it_. Desperately so. This Shizuo whose face dulled and slackened with lust was bland and… _boring_. It was a watercolor of the blonde done by someone who had never before seen him, blurring lines that should always, _always_ be stark and vivid and sparking with energy. This…? This was something… _less_.

So Izaya latched onto that flicker of rage, smile developing an edge of his ever-present cruelty as he pulled his shirt over his head, tossing it to the side as he stalked his way closer; it wasn't long before he was crawling on the bed, mattress sinking beneath his weight, and moving with a panther's inherent grace towards the man whose amber gaze was so, so _intense_ and _focused _upon him.

"Such a beast, Shizu-chan~" Izaya teased, glancing down towards the blonde's groin to see that his cock was still hard. "Do you go into heat, too, Shizu-chan? Because it certainly looks like it!" He laughed gaily, the pleased sound filling the otherwise silence of the bedroom-and all the while, Shizuo's expression twisted and turned ugly and there was a muted ripping sound as the sheets of the bed tore beneath his white-knuckled grip.

"What the _fuck_, flea?"

But the informant's attention remained upon that spark within the other's gaze, and after begin denied it for so long, he only wanted it to flare _hotter_ even as Izaya caressed a warm palm alongside the inside of Shizuo's soft thigh, stroking over thin, sensitive skin and watching as Shizuo's eyes widened minutely. He licked a finger and smirked, settling his weight over Shizuo's broad chest as one hand slipped between the blonde's thighs, dipping lower still to tease at the tense muscle of the other's entrance. Shizuo's breath hitched and he glanced away-if only for a moment-before again meeting Izaya's blood-tainted mahogany gaze.

"I wonder, ne…" Izaya murmured, damp finger rubbing over and over and over again at the blonde's entrance. He leaned in closer still, letting his voice whisper over the shell of Shizuo's ear, though making sure to watch the blonde from the corner of his eyes: _craving_ more than anything to see that very moment when the flicker was fanned to a flame and Shizuo's eyes turned molten. His finger finally broke through the ring of muscle, pushing deeper despite Shizuo's hiss of surprised pain, and crooked his finger to press _hard_ against the other man's prostate.

Shizuo cried out and arched his body, vision going white in pleasure, and it was while he was drowning that Izaya's voice broke through the surface: "Just like a bitch in heat, just like a _beast_, will you put your ass up in the air and beg me to fuck you~? Doesn't matter as long as I scratch that itch, ne?"

The white shifted and tasted like copper in his mouth and bled to redred_red_, crimson flooding and riding high.

Bedsheets became nothing more than scraps of fabric in Shizuo's grasp, shredded down to _nothing_-useless and slipping between his fingers as the blonde made an aborted move towards Izaya's throat. He stopped himself, though, a scream of denied fury-of pain and hurt and _betrayal_-slipping past his lips as the world bled crimson. Shizuo _pushed _Izaya away, sending the brunette man tumbling down upon the mattress as the other scrabbled away from him.

And all Shizuo could hear and think and _feel_ were Izaya's words when he had asked, "Do you trust me?" and he had, _stupidly_ so so so _so_ stupidly, answered _yes_-had answered _yes_ when it should have always, _always_ remained a resounding _no_. Shizuo had been a fool to lower his guard for _this man_, this pathetic excuse of a human being who took cruel enjoyment out of trolling others to his heart's content… or, maybe more accurately, _contentment _since this human-shaped parasite would have never been capable of carrying a heart in his empty chest.

Shizuo had said _yes_-and he should have known better.

He began to move towards the bedroom's door and Izaya, damn him, sounded _confused_ as he asked, "Shizu-chan?"

"Go to hell," Shizuo replied shortly, dressing with jerky movements of his hands and snarling ferally when Izaya reached out to try and place a hand upon the blonde's forearm. His teeth were openly bared, upper lip curled away from them in a gesture of open disgust and hate, the latter emotion enough to cause Izaya's brow to furrow as he reached out to once more wrap his fingers tight around Shizuo's arm.

"Shizu-chan, what _the hell _are you doing?"

In answer, Shizuo tossed off the other's hold on him violently enough that Izaya could hear the joint pop-it hurt like a bitch, but it still wasn't hard enough to tear tendons or pull his joints apart-and it was enough for Izaya to realize that, _even now_, with Shizuo's expression as broken and as hard as it was, he still kept his strength in check to ensure that he caused no permanent damage to the informant. Reeling from that realization-especially in comparison to the black look in Shizuo's gaze-Izaya's reaction came too late:

"We're done."

The informant's door shut.

And Izaya _realized_, horror widening his eyes.

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><p><em>.End.<em>


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